kids say the darndest things.

Today my mother and i had to pick up these two little girls to come to church with us because the rest of their family was sick. During sacrament meeting one of the sister missionaries got up to bear her testimony and the 4 year old Eliza tapped me on the shoulder.

Eliza: "Did we get her now?"

Me: "Yep, it looks like she's new."

Eliza: "So does that mean we dont have Sister Chipman anymore?"

I turned to my mother and asked if that was the one she replaced and she said yes.

Me: "I guess not :("

Eliza: "So did we sell her for the new one?"

hahahaha. i died laughing. right there in the middle of the meeting. yup folks, it looks like missionaries are actually slaves. My mom went on to tell the entire ward including the bishop who thought it was equally hysterical. Why can't I sit next to a 4 year old every sunday?

shannan-beware.

As i am crawling into bed i realized what i had eaten today. I thought about middle school health class when you have to bring in a list of everything you ate for three days and then chart it on the food pyramid and how well..i wouldve completely failed today had that been my assignment. Then i thought it would make for a funny blog, so here you have it.

breakfast- icee pops and a quadrulple stuffed oreo.

lunch- great american cookie

dinner- chips and queso

dessert- chocolate covered cinnamon bears

There you have it my friends. The secret to my success. If I could imagine a perfect world..this would be what i would eat every single day. maybe if everyone ate this way the world would be a happier, more peaceful place. Sound advice straight from the mouth of Samantha Brooks. Take it to heart.

want a good laugh?

please visit failblog.org or just youtube it.

here are some of my favorites (:

1. he can actually bike that fast..thats incredible!!

2. the fact that he made it through those semi's alive should be awesome enough for the police to let him off for whatever he's being charged with.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-bTa6_o3RM&feature=channel

i had to watch it twice, but really..that would be a moment for the history books.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOiNG4xAvMU&feature=related

in the words of kristan: "mo-ron"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTaTvwl4-28

hahahahaha.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsQy54p2zQQ&feature=channel

dont worry that its not in english..just keep watching.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejrWrDolJO0&feature=channel

and this is where it all began. you can thank kristen bell for the loads of entertainment i have enjoyed today switching from video to video. i hope you find as much joy in this one and the many others as i do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRcTgMsEG2k&feature=channel

There is a first and last for everything...

Mind you, I dont go to the bathroom ( or potty, for you caisa (: ) in like any bathroom thats even remotely dirty. I will hold it throughout an entire school day if i have to, because i refuse to use those ones. However, today..on the way to the braves game i realized i had to go, and i had to go bad. We've almost made it to the stadium when we hit dead stopped traffic. I'm about to die, or at least scream. We FINALLY make it into the parking lot and i hop out of the car and run to the port-a-potty.



This is what kristan captured on my way out. Clearly it will not ever be happening again.


Oh and another first.. Some of my friends were at the game and sitting wayyy up so i went to see them and i never realized how much grass there really was in the outfield. ohh the joys of a braves game.

apparently i have a lot of funny things on my mind.

So..tonight as we, meaning the sisters, were talking, Caisa brought it to my attention that I think about a lot of funny things that I do not blog about. Therefore, I have created a short list. I will continue to add onto this list when I am in a more appropriate state of mind.

1. Is it logical? Probably not. But yes, I trust fat people, and no not obesely fat, but at least bit overweight people, more so than skinny people. Don't ask me why, but think about it. As your lawyer, would you trust Uncle Craig or Uncle George? I would say Uncle George. And no Kelli you cannot say one with your estate planning and the other with whatever the other one does. I'll give you another example. Dad or Ralph? Dad. Rob or Big? Big. Skinny people are just too easy to break.

2. In other news, Amy and I are the only like-able people left on this planet. It is not our fault we do not like to socialize. It does not make us socially awkward or have some sort of social problem. It is only that we are trying to preserve our preserve our logical and correct brains from the corrupt, stupid and obnoxious brains of those around us.

3. The girlscouts. They make these FABULOUS cookies, and NO ONE has stolen their recipe yet. Why? Those little children make bank and no one even thinks twice about it. I can't say I don't contribute, having bought 15 boxes myself this year; however that is not the point. The point is, I cannot believe no one has tried to steal it. In the words of Amy, "is there a god? unimportant. why do the girlscouts have such a hold on the cookie market? ENIGMA." In addition, they pretend to have these little meetings and learn about survival and wilderness and what not, but it's crap. It's all crap. Amy and I know what they really do. They sit around and paint each other's toenails while gossiping about whose bookbag is cooler than whose and who sits in the cooler seat on the schoolbus.

4. When black people make white people jokes, why does no one call them out for being racist? Well, to be honest, I'm sick of the descrimination. As is Amy. And we're going to write a book. The pending title is, Aunt Amy's Tree House.

5. Today, in the mall, Kristan and I saw a cardboard cut out of Edward. I said, "I've seen this many times and I want to buy it." Kristan said, "You should. I'm sure Daddy would pay for it. And Zac does seem to be getting very lonely. He needs a friend."

6. Ever since we went to California and rode segways, i have been obsessed. I want one. I need one. And I will do everything in my power to get one. Yes I realize they are expensive. However; they're electric, meaning no gas. And parking would be fabulous. I could get chains for the ice. And apparently there are segway communities for people with segways to meet up with one another. Anyways, I think it would be fabulous for college. A while back I questioned whether or not I should bring Zac with me to college and Amy suggested I tape Zac right on the back of my segway. Now i said, "Imagine that. Me and Zac riding through campus on my segway. Who wouldn't want to be friends with me?!"

per shannan's request.

This is for you Shannan. I know I havent updated in a while, shocking I know. But I like these surveyish things and I can't sleep. So read as you wish; however, I will admit there is nothing witty in this one. Sorry folks.

Eight things I'm looking forward to:

1. EFY .

2. The bea ch.

3. My sisters comi ng home.

4. Meeting Lauren Conrad.

5. Not being sick anymore.

6. Being a senior a nd going on my graduation trip.

7. My TV shows starting again.

8. Hawaii.

Eight things I did this weekend:

1. YC.

2. Sle pt.

3. Went to t he lake.

4. Watched Twilight.

5. Tal ked.

6. Ate pizz a.

7. Slept.

8. YC .

Eight things I wish I could do:

1. Be an olympic gymnast.
2. Go to Africa with Tom Shoes or Invisible Children. Preferably both.
3. Be a Disney Princess.
4. Eat like a normal person.
5. Go on shopping spree. (or dare i say..another one)
6. Never shave.
7. Graduate and move out of GA.
8. Become a vampire and fall in love with Edward.

Eight shows that I watch:
1. Veronica Mars.
2. Grey's Anatomy. (watching it as we speak actually)
3. Gossip Girl.
4. One Tree Hill.
5. The Hills.
6. Greek.
7. SYTYCD.
8. 90210.

Eight Places I'd like to travel:

1. Dubai.

2. Greece.

3. Australia.

4. Portugal.

5. Milan.

6. Paris.

7. Japan.

8. Budapest.

Eight people I tag:

1. Kelli.

2. Kristan.

3. Caisa.

4. Amy.

5. Whitney.

6. Im pretty sure no one else reads my blog..

7. ...

im a pathological liar.

So i know i said i would update more often than shannan. Well, it turns out that it was a lie. So im so sorry to disappoint, however..i am updating now. I have also noticed that i always seem to update around midnight. Coincidence? I think not. 

Kelli--you know how you are always saying im never in school and blah blah blah. Well, these past six weeks, I cant say i've proved you wrong. I have come to find out that I have either missed at least one day or left early at some point in time during the week faithfully these past six weeks. This week is no exception. I refused to go to school yesterday, because it was pointless and a waste of my time. Today, I went in and took my ap test and walked out. There was no way anyone was going to make me stay in that wretched place any longer. When i arrived home my mother asked me if i was leaving early again tomorrow. I said i wasnt planning on it, but if she was willing..and then of course, she was no longer willing. Now, i am lying in my bed thinking about how much i am dreading going to school for an ENTIRE day tomorrow.

However, my mother, the queen of motivation, has given me some incentive. Today I was informed that there are goldfish that glow in the dark. Now, as if that wasn't cool enough, they come in neon colors such as hot pink and hot orange. Guess which one i want. Yeah. So I freaked out upon receiving this information and quickly begged my mother to let me go buy one "with my own money" like i was a five-year-old (which my doctor yesterday informed me that i am just like his six-year-old so.. apparently its appropriate). The response i received, and this is a direct quote, "You can get one. But ONLY if you go to school everyday all day for the rest of the year." Now this might actually sound like a punishment; however, i have 4 more full days of school left. 4. And i can't even remember the last time I went to school for that long for that many days in a row. I dont think I am going to be able to make it. 

So.. if i can sit through 4 pointless, worthless days at a school that is a complete and total waste of my precious time that could be spent doing much better things like watching veronica mars or playing spider solitare, then this summer i will be the proud mother of a brand new fish (: