my top dudes.

he might run away from the camera, and me, but how can you not love that face? seriously, nothing makes me happier than my family.

baby please don't go.

LA needs to stop stealing all my friends.

mommy.

happy mother's day mommy! you're the best mom in the whole wide world. thanks for being my best friend. and for my blue eyes. and my hair. and my love for diet coke. and cookie dough. and sunshine. and for always making me food. and cleaning up after me. and playing with my hair. and being the best mom i could ever ask for.

i'm back.

i'm baaaaaack. i'm back to america, back to provo, back to real life. well, as real as my life gets. i'm back to living off cookie dough...and caisa. i'm back to having to drive to see my friends instead of just walking upstairs. i'm back to watching tv instead of doing homework and spending all day in class instead of out being out in the city. it's strange, but it's nice. it's nice being back to target. and yogurtland. it's nice being able to pick up the phone and call whomever, whenever. it's so nice being back with my sister and my best friends. even though i still get homesick for jerusalem sometimes, i'm glad i'm back, and i'm glad i'm back in provo. (but i do miss you mom!)

these last two weeks have been so fun. dear sweet melanie came to utah with jump (the dance convention she works with), and she extended her flight so we could play for a day. caisa and i have made it to the ingrid michaelson concert and both the lucky one and titanic already. i managed to get the coolest job ever working for j kirk richards. i spend as much time as possible with caisa and candice and melissa and sarah, but no worries, there have also been countless jerusalem reunions already as well. i played tennis for the first time in my life yesterday and participated in critical mass the day before. i even agreed to go hiking with people one day! (don't worry it didn't actually end up happening) turns out, jerusalem changed me.

i really am so happy. i'm loving provo. i'm loving life. life is grand.

how did that happen?

the last day in jerusalem. the most bittersweet feeling of my entire life. we made sure to soak it all in on our very last day. we started the morning off at the dome and proceeded to put our final prayers in the wall. then we hit up marzipan and got one last falafel. just about everyone had gathered at the austrian hospice to eat, and it was such a beautiful day that we all just sat there and listened to the sounds of the city and heard the call to prayer one last time. we had to be back in the center by 3 to finish packing and cleaning up. i used that time to make cookies with the ludlow family one more time. it was a long and emotional day. i was so happy and excited, yet sad and anxious and depressed. as we got on the bus and drove away from the center, i felt a part of my heart stay at the jc.

how did it get here? the last day. it feels like yesterday that we were jet lagged and pulling into the city for the very first time. well i'm jet lagged again, but now i look outside my window and see mountains and roads instead of the city and churches. where am i? i feel lost. i don't know where the dome is or where all my friends are. i don't know what to do with my time. my days don't revolve around meal times anymore, and i have absolutely no schedule. i feel so out of place. i know i lived before jerusalem, but for some reason it is almost impossible to imagine life outside of jerusalem. i feel like i'm living in a dream. america does have its perks though. like clean bathrooms, more than just one week's worth of clothing, mexican food, yogurtland, free refills, cell phones, and my friends and family. it's funny the things that make me notice how long i've been gone for--like how seeing couples holding hands or knee-length skirts makes me do a double take. i really am happy to be back. i'm happy to be in america, but i am seriously missing my jerusalem family and my jerusalem home.

if i forget you.

today, we finished finals, and never in my life have i been more upset about it. my time here is quickly coming to an end. it scares me. i'm not sure i'm ready to go back to real life. i love jerusalem. i love finishing finals and going to the western wall to welcome in the sabbath. i love walking into the old city and slipping and sliding around on the cobblestone roads. i love meeting up with the shopkeepers and getting free food. (did i just say that out loud?) i love walking through the city and getting run over by christian processions. i love hearing the call to prayer and looking out over the city. (even when it feels like i just heard it five minutes ago.) i love the long walk to and from the city and literally walking uphill both ways. (well, maybe i don't love it, but i will miss it.) i love hearing "mormons!" and "byu!" and "are you chinese?" (and the stupid little giggle afterwards, because they think they're so funny). i love returning to the jc and saying, "home!"

sometimes sj says things better than i can. the jc really has become my home. i can't even imagine how hard it is going to be to leave it. especially because i feel like i just got here.

the dead sea.

ya know, sometimes you just gotta do a little light reading while floating in the sea. and then cover yourself in mud, so the next day your skin feels miraculous.

the dead sea was the coolest experience. fun fact. it has 30% salinity. the ocean has 3.5%. you can actually stand up straight. you don't have to tread water or anything. you just bob there. you can lie on your stomach and nothing happens. it's like your body is a raft. if i wasn't having so much fun, i totally would've taken a nap. i loved this place. (let's be real, what place haven't i loved?) i could've stayed for hours. except then maybe i would have died. i hear the salt dehydrates you like crazy or something though. makes sense. i wouldn't know. huntsie dragged us out of there so we could go see the cave where the dead sea scrolls were found. i know, i know. my life is hard.